A great big shout-out to JJW for inspiring this blog. I shall bring my considerable intellectual weight to bear upon the muddle of the Blogosphere. Let us see if it will survive.
So, I've never been to Gettysburg. I'm told it's lovely, though it strikes me as kind of flat and dull (thusly) I have, however, seen pictures of it in some history textbook shoved under my nose when I was an impressionable youth. I'm sure the teacher at the time would have been disheartened to learn that I gleaned nothing from his class but, sadly, he didn't stand a chance. I'm sorry Mr. Whatever Your Name Was in 8th Grade.
I have never so much as seen a picture (as far as I can remember) of Antietam.
Ulysses S. Grant was a drunk, and that's why he won the war of 1812.
Thank you and good night.
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Ford stared at Arthur, and Arthur was astonished to find that his will was beginning to weaken. He didn't realize that this was because of an old drinking game that Ford learned to play in the hyperspace ports that served the madranite mining belts in the star system of Orion Beta.
The game was not unlike the Earth game called Indian Wrestling, and was played like this:
Two contestants would sit either side of a table, with a glass in front of each of them.
Between them would be placed a bottle of Janx Spirit (as immortalized in that ancient Orion mining song "Oh don't give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit/ No, don't you give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit/ For my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may die/ Won't you pour me one more of that sinful Old Janx Spirit").
Each of the two contestants would then concentrate their will on the bottle and attempt to tip it and pour spirit into the glass of his opponent — who would then have to drink it.
The bottle would then be refilled. The game would be played again. And again.
Once you started to lose you would probably keep losing, because one of the effects of Janx spirit is to depress telepsychic power.
As soon as a predetermined quantity had been consumed, the final loser would have to perform a forfeit, which was usually obscenely biological.
Ford Prefect usually played to lose.
In all fairness, there are hills all around the town, and the mountains can be seen from it. It really is a very lovely area.
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